Feeling stuck, unheard, and invisible can be overwhelming. At some point, we all experience moments where life seems unfair, and no matter what we do, we feel trapped in a cycle of frustration. However, by practicing mindfulness and shifting our perspective from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What can I do to make this better?” we can break free and move forward.
One personal experience that taught me this lesson was my first job after earning my Master’s in Industrial Engineering from NC State. I was thrilled to join a fragrance manufacturing firm and was eager to contribute by making the production process more efficient. However, just two weeks into the job, life threw an unexpected challenge my way—I was in a serious car accident on June 16, 2006, which required surgery and a long recovery period to relearn how to walk.
During my recovery at home, I felt a deep sense of inadequacy. I had lost my independence, had to get a new car, and was still trying to navigate a new relationship. When I finally returned to work three months later, I found that my project had been completed inefficiently by someone else. Instead of advocating for my ideas and making improvements, I hid behind spreadsheets, doing only the bare minimum and avoiding interaction.
Then, a friend took me to lunch and gave me a much-needed wake-up call. “Sneha, you need to start showing up because people are concerned,” they said. That moment sparked a realization—I had to take control of my situation. I started signing up for projects and actively participating. However, I still hesitated to fully step up. I developed a proposal to improve the process through databases but was too timid to present it. As a result, someone else received credit for my work.
That was my second wake-up call. I understood that being present wasn’t enough; I needed to show up authentically and bravely. With time, I regained my confidence, got promoted, and moved into a department that aligned with my goals.
Through mindfulness, I learned to reframe my setbacks. Instead of dwelling on the unfairness of my circumstances, I asked myself, “What can I do now?” This simple shift in mindset was transformative.
Applying Mindfulness to Get Unstuck
Mindfulness is about being present, observing our thoughts without judgment, and shifting our focus from frustration to action. Here’s how you can apply this in everyday life:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Letting Them Define You
When life feels unfair, allow yourself to feel disappointed but don’t let it dictate your actions. Recognizing emotions is the first step toward moving past them. - Reframe the Situation
Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?” ask “What can I do to improve this?” This small change in thinking shifts you from victim mode to problem-solving mode. - Take Small, Consistent Actions
Feeling stuck often comes from inaction. Identify one step—no matter how small—you can take to regain control. - Practice Gratitude and Presence
Focus on what is within your control and appreciate the progress you make along the way. Even in difficult situations, there’s always something to learn.
Mindfulness in Everyday Life
Mindfulness can help in various aspects of life. For example:
- Parenting: If you have a highly sensitive child, it’s easy to compare them to others and ask, “Why is my child different?” Instead, ask, “What can I do to help my child navigate life better?” This shift reduces stress and promotes action.
- Health & Fitness: If you’re struggling with weight loss, replace “Why can’t I lose weight?” with “What small changes can I make today to improve my health?”
- Relationships: If you keep facing rejection, rather than asking, “Why does this keep happening to me?” consider, “What patterns can I change or what type of people should I seek?”
Getting unstuck isn’t about waiting for life to be fair. It’s about shifting our perspective, showing up for ourselves, and taking mindful action. By doing so, we reclaim our visibility, value, and confidence—just as I did. And if you ever feel lost, remember: your next step forward is just one mindful question away.